My thoughts on sucking

We've all suffered and failed in improv.  We've had that moment while on stage where something comes out of your mouth and you just cringe as you're saying it.  You feel the audience becoming uncomfortable, or you hear in the silence people shifting in their seats, keeping themselves conformable while they politely wait for the blackout.  Or you've heard the table in the back, tipsy and giggling and not paying a lick of attention (to which I think, "why would you pay $10 to chat in the back of an improv show?  Why didn't you go to the bar instead?"), and realizing it's your job to keep these chatty Kathys entertained.  Which they clearly aren't.  We've all had that moment in class when we just fucking bomb.  When we don't even do the same exercise as we're supposed to be doing.  My first day in my college improv group involved me playing the game "Yes, And", which turned into "No, but...".  HOW does that even work?

But we have ALL done it.  We have all been there.  And most of us are still trucking.  We're still taking classes and performing and we haven't given up.  There have been times where I've gone home and cried and cried because I felt like I could never be good, that I fucked up in class and everyone else was great, and audiences hated me.  How did I overcome that?



First of all, I absolutley LOVE improvisation.  I am a performer at heart (once you get past all the psychological issues that mask my confidence and talent), and there's nothing better than the thrill of audience laughter and applause.  I love it, and I want to keep going.  I want to study with the best and I want to BE the best.  Great, but no matter how much you want something, you can still get bogged down by sucking.

So how do you stop sucking?  Stop worrying about it. Failure is the only way to learn how to succeed.  There's an old improv addage that a friend of mine actually tattooed on himself: "Fall, and figure out what to do on the way down".  This means you can't be afraid to fall or fail - you have to let it happen.  The most important part of failure is how to land.  Whether it's deciding to get up and try again, or to make the failure spectactular, or to just brace yourself for it and move on when it's done, those are all acceptable.  But you have to do SOMETHING.  Let it happen and react to it.  Isn't that what it's all about?

I literally tripped and fell going up the stairs recently and I was so proud of myself because I recognized what was happening, and I planned in that split second where to put the heavy box I was carrying and how to minimize my injury.  Improv = life

Failure is an extremely valuable learning tool.  Recently, a few classmates of mine expressed frustration with the material we were leanring in class.  The drills were hard, some of the explainations were complicated and you had to do the exercise a few times to figure out what it was you were doing.  My mindset and my advice to such frustrating work is to be confident and truck through it.  You won't get anywhere by talking about why it's hard and stalling and being afraid.  Just try it a few times and adjust as you go.  If you need help, that's what the teacher's for.  Try it, fail and learn. Don't think too hard about it.

I once took a workshop with TJ Jagodowski (of TJ and Dave fame), where I felt like the "fuck up" in class.  I performed poorly and I generally felt like a dick and like I didn't belong in the class.  But, through my failures and deviations from the outline of the exercise, I got some extra personal attention from TJ.  I didn't go in with the intention of getting that attention.  In fact, I wanted to impress him and be the best.  But instead I found myself wanting to shrink into nothing and float out the door.  Looking back, I realized that I got more out of the class by failing.  He gave me some personal feedback in front of the class, which then led to an important and valuable discussion, which in turn helped the rest of the class.  I also learned not to be afraid of asking for clarification.  It may sound counter intuitive, but asking for help is a demonstration of confidence. So, never be scared to ask for help or to fail because good things may come from it.

In regards to shows: I've been listening to a lot of Improv Nerd (really awesome podcast you can find here or on iTunes), and several times the host and a few guests have said something like "you're going to have bad shows.  You're going to do poorly.  Let it go."  Let it go.  Easier said than done, but there is nothing to be gained by sulking over a bad show.  Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Mike Myers, Chris Farley, David Koechner, Scott Adsit, John Lutz, TJ Jagodowski, ANYONE who's been on SNL or the Second City stage, the people you see at ComedySportz, your improv teacher, your classmates - they've ALL had bad shows.  And they're still performing.  Be upset about it for the night, for the next day and then let it go.  If you're thinking about the shit you won't be able to find the gold in your next class/workshop/show.  Breathe, and move on.

Jill Bernard mentions the "sine-wave of suck" in her Small Cute Book of Improv  The gist is this: you feel awesome for a while, you might suck for a while and this pattern tends to repeat itself. If it were a graph it'd be a sine wave.  Her advice is to ride it out.  Return to the basics and focus on fundamentals.  Take a break if need be.  I've taken a hiatus a few times and I've always found something really awesome at the end of my break and/or suck-wave.

Mick Napier says "Fuck Your Fear".

Get in there and let it happen.  Fail spectacularly and you will be better for it.  Take a break if you need it and ride out that suck-wave.  Don't be scared to ask for help and have the confidence to figure out for yourself what works for you.  Everything you say or do is correct so don't worry.  I know it's all much easier said than done, but I feel it's helpful to know we've all been there and you are not alone.  You cannot get any better by quitting or being frustrated.  If you love improv, you'll figure it out.  You are a glorious fucking phoenix and you will rise from the ashes of your own mind.